For real love to arise, romantic love must die. Part one:
Step one is to get the difference between love and romantic love. This isn’t something you can intellectualize yourself into understanding. It is a big, big deal. It is so important that you are well advised spend a good deal of time thinking about it, and challenging yourself. (…)
Romantic love is a narrative of male sacrifice in exchange for sex and to some degree approval. It is likely based on and driven by the state of infatuation, a naturally occurring form of psychosis that serves human reproduction. Romantic love takes that temporary insanity and turns it into a mandate for men to maintain it in perpetuity. On its face, it’s a perfect storm of sexual selection, male sacrifice and male disposability, which is really just three different ways of saying gynocentrism. (…)
Love and romantic love are two entirely different things. Love is a product of learned experience, negotiating conflicts and outright battles for control. It comes from enduring hardship as a team and to some degree developing mutual dependence.
For real love to arise, romantic love must die. Part two.
Step Two: Screening
It is just as hard to overstress the importance of step two. When meeting women, you have three basic objectives. You need to screen. You need to screen and you need to screen. Mainly with the understanding that most of the screening will be screening out.
For real love to arise, romantic love must die: Part three
And that brings us to step three, which is ABT. Always be training. (…)
That’s the point. Gynocentrism is the enabling credo of an indulgent childhood. It is not rational. It is not healthy. It does not know limits, or propriety or even common sense – and very, very importantly, it doesn’t want to. Ever. It is a child screeching for something it wants without regard to fairness or consequence, and it will only react to your bargaining and reasoning with more childishness. (…)
The problem with gynocentrism, and its proxy romantic love, is that it separates people, men and women alike, from their capacity for reason. It removes the direct pathway from a presenting problem to a values-based solution.
1. For real love to arise, romantic love must die. Part one
2. For real love to arise, romantic love must die. Part two
3. For real love to arise, romantic love must die: Part three
4. Hell hath no fury